Lindsay Lohan: Guilty of Theft or Stupidity?

So, this headline caught my eye:

Lindsay Lohan Pleads Not Guilty to Felony Grand Theft

If you click on the link, the article will tell you that Lohan's defense for shoplifting a $2,500 necklace from a jewelry store is that she was "allowed to borrow the jewelry."

Either Lohan's an idiot, or she thought the store owners were, because who in their right mind would let a crackhead drunkard like her borrow ANYTHING she might trade for drugs and booze?

Here's hoping this goes to trail and she gets FINALLY the jail-time she has so richly deserved for a number years. (At the very least, we'd get to hear elaborations on why on earth she thought she was so special that she could walk off with a store's merchandise.)

Satan strikes at Trinidad school?

There's a movie in this... the question is whether it's "The Exorcist V: The Trinidad Ritual", "Satan's School for Girls 2: Caribbean Demon Queen", or "All the Little Girls", a gritty, modern-day version of the Salem Witch Trials.

The Trinidad Guardian: Panic after ‘Devil attack’ at school

Click here for more by this artist

Whichever it is, maybe we can get Oprah to fund the picture in exchange for an executive producer credit?

The cause of earthquakes revealed byHojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, Imam of Imams!

For decades--literally, since the Mad Mullahs and Idiot Imams issued death fatwas against Salman Rushdie, and the government of Iran backed them with a bounty--I've been writing and saying that Islam is a force for evil and repression in the world.

However, I have to eat my words. One of Islam's great thinkers and holy men has found a way to stop the very forces of nature itself, to prevent earthquakes! Read his words of wisdom and gasp in awe over the glory and insight that Islam and Allah can bring to us puny mortals!

'Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,' Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

Ah, the wisdom and insight of a Muslim cleric! Is there anything so glorious (save for the wisdom and insight of a senile American born-again Christian tele-evangelist)? You can read more about the words for the ages from the brilliant Hojatoleslam by clicking here, or you can continue to gaze upon images of the cause of earthquakes since the dawn of time.











You can click on the pictures to see more detail of these earth-shaking creatures. You can also click on the "Saturday Scream Queens" picture to the right for similar image. But remember to cover and lock up your daughters... because they cause the earth to move if you don't!!